Reflections on Ministry on 9/11/2009
I have just moved to a new apartment! Moving is a hassle for anyone; however, it grows exponentially when one is moving more than 1,000 books (yes, I am a bit of a nerd)! In the unpacking and reshelving, I found a journal that I kept at the beginning of this missionary journey of sharing the Gospel of Messiah Jesus with the Jewish people. Some of the entries were fascinating ten years removed from this surrender to God’s will. If you will allow, I would like to share portions of it with you.
September 18, 1999 (after Sydney’s funeral from the Wedgwood Shooting Tragedy)
I was going to wait until Thursday to begin writing in you but after Sydney’s funeral I felt the time to start was today. I sat there and thought of my own legacy. Would my passing change anyone? Would my death cause people to pause and consider what I had done for the kingdom?…
I suppose I am writing knowing someday someone will read these words over my body. So my heart prayer is that some of the listeners will be the sons of Abraham and the daughters of Sarah who are now my brothers and sisters in Christ. Even one soul changed for heaven will be enough to make my life and death and legacy complete. Hebrews 12:1-3
September 19, 1999
… But how can I truly be a witness to the Jewish people without being vulnerable and open to them? Open enough to say that I do not know the whys of life but I do know the Who. I have no answers for last Wednesday or for any other tragedy but I must be the conduit for helping people (esp. the Jewish people) to find the one (Yeshua) who does.
Forgive me Father for pride and my love of control. Help me to be weak so the world can see your strength through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
September 26, 1999 (returning on the flight from NYC and my interview with Chosen People Ministries)
… Please God show me your plan and help me to have no qualms. I know I did the right thing by waiting. Now I want my answer to be the perfect will and plan of God. Psalm 46:10 (FOOTNOTE: I moved to NYC and worked with Chosen People Ministries from January 2000 to November 2006)
October 25, 1999
…Going is not the problem for me. Leaving, adventure and the unknown are not the problem. Fear of them not wanting me after all is.
Why do I live like this? Why can’t I just enjoy the moment? Why am I always afraid?
Dear God help my unbelief! Help me to BELIEVE the truth of the verse below. (Psalm 27:14)
January 1, 2000
10 days till NYC. I am not bouncing off the walls but I do have a sense of anticipation and urgency. I am not afraid or leery but I am cautious of the unknown. What will everything be like? Will I do a good job? Will I touch people for the kingdom? Will I be a martyr like I sense in my soul?
January 10, 2000
I’m on the plane. I hugged my parents and told them over and over of my love. I hope they know how much they mean to me. They mean the world!…
I am scared but I also know in my soul this is right. I love them already and I don’t know them. They may be angry of my love. They may spit at me (literally) but I will always love them.
God, you did not lead me through 16 years of destiny to leave me stranded now! I claim this belief not because I can force you to do anything but because you are ever faithful. You do not leave us once you get us to where you want.
Make me worthy. Mold me and conform me so that Amy is gone and all that is left for the world to see is you. Make me worthy.
March 5, 2000
What does it mean? This dream about Sydney. She came right up to me and sat by me on a platform of a church (Wedgwood?).
Does it have anything to do with the shootings this week? Is it a touch of post-traumatic shock? Is it a sign, warning or hope?
I am ready for death but I don’t want it yet. Help me God in my faith regardless.
As I sat on the floor of my new apartment and read the words above, I was struck by the innocence, the excitement, and, yes, even the naïveté of the 30 year old writer. There are parts of me that would love to go back to the young woman who wrote those words and warn her of the hardships that were ahead on her journey for God; however, I think she deserves the wide-eyed optimism of a pre-2001 world.
The next entry I want to share is from my closing days in New York. I was emotionally and spiritually exhausted. So much had happened since 1999 that the naïveté was lost forever. What remained was a person in need of spiritual renewal for while the mission call was strong, the spirit was weak.
October 6, 2002
… I found this diary last night and laughed, cried and grimaced as I read it. I can honestly remember every emotion and thought I had as I wrote those words…
Daddy is dead. Josef is dead. Laura and Jean are gone. What good have I done? Did I do anything with any eternal impact? In my most maudlin moments the answer is no. In my hopeful thoughts I feel as if I have grown. I am older, maybe wiser and definitely scared. But did that really accomplish anything? Perchance for the future but I can’t see it now. I am still alone. I am still tired…
And so now we come to September 2009. Ten years later and so much of the world has changed. Personally I have lost to death my dad, my three remaining grandparents, my uncle, my dearest brother-in-law, and my wonderful Josef. I will see all of them again except for Josef. A Holocaust survivor who lived through man’s hell only to … it hurts to even write the words. His death haunts me most of all from the last 10 years. I witnessed. I begged. I cried. I prayed. I miss him. I ache for his soul and finally understand the words of Romans 9:3; however, and like Paul, I glory in the fact that nothing could separate me from the love of Jesus (Romans 8).
The world has lost the innocent hope of a September 10, 2001 world. We have seen tragedies through the tsunamis and a hurricane named Katrina. We have lost soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. We have once again ignored the genocide in the Darfur region of Sudan. We are not the same as we were in 1999 and we as a world can never return.
So if I was to write a journal entry for today, I would write …
September 11, 2009
Today was another day of service for the Lord through the work of Tzedakah Ministries for Jewish evangelism. I still struggle with spiritual exhaustion. How much more can I (Tzedakah Ministries) beg and plead for Christian churches to join the fight for the salvation of the Jewish people? What will we as the church of God say when we have to answer for our apathy at best and antipathy at worst? How will God respond to those who claim to serve Him but fail to share the Gospel with His Chosen Ones?
I through Tzedakah Ministries must continue the work even when and if some of my own family and friends do not understand my obsessive passion of Jewish missions. There is nothing else I can do with my life. There is nothing else I want to do with my life.
What have I really given up over the last 10 years? For even though I am single and childless, I have friends from every corner of the world who mean the world to me. Jewish friends of whom some are saved and some have yet to receive Jesus as Messiah.
What have I really given up over the last 10 years? For even though I am not a wealthy woman in terms of my checking account, I have intangible riches because I know that I have tried to be faithful daily to the calling of Messiah Jesus upon my life. Is that not worth more than all the gold of men? Yes!
So tomorrow I will wake up again yearning to see my Jewish people come to faith in Jesus. For I cannot face the grieving burden of another Josef, another Barbara, another soul. It hurts too much.
Please God continue to make me worthy of this calling. I am not always sure why you gave the calling of Tzedakah Ministries to me; however, I want to thank you and be worthy of the joyful burden that you have bestowed upon me. Make me worthy oh God. Mold me to the image of you.
1 Thessalonians 2:13-16 … What Does It Really Say?
Some view this passage of Paul’s epistle to the church at Thessalonica as either anti-Semitic, an interpolation (i.e., someone else wrote it and inserted into the letter), and/or something else. What do you think it really says?
13 For this cause also thank we God without ceasing, because, when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe. 14 For ye, brethren, became followers of the churches of God which in Judaea are in Christ Jesus: for ye also have suffered like things of your own countrymen, even as they have of the Jews: 15 Who both killed the Lord Jesus, and their own prophets, and have persecuted us; and they please not God, and are contrary to all men: 16 Forbidding us to speak to the Gentiles that they might be saved, to fill up their sins alway: for the wrath is come upon them to the uttermost.
What Exactly Does It Mean to Return to the Jewish Roots of the Christian Faith?
I have heard the phrase uttered. I have used the phrase myself. Over the weekend, I began to ask myself a question — “Just exactly what does it mean for the church to return to the Jewish roots of the Christian faith?’”
The church of Messiah Jesus was begun depending upon your ecclesiology either during Jesus’ earthly ministry or on the Day of Pentecost (Shavuot in Hebrew). It was begun as a result of Jesus the Jewish Messiah’s death, burial, and resurrection. The first followers were Jewish. The salvation message was a fulfillment of Jeremiah 29’s new covenant promise for Israel and the Jewish people.
The evangelistic marching orders and the parting words of Jesus before His ascension was the order of evangelism (Acts 1:8) – Jerusalem (Jewish people), Judea (Jewish people), Samaria (Jewish people), and to the uttermosts parts of the earth (the rest of us). The first deacons were comprised of a number of Hellenistic Jews such as Stephen. The first members of the Jerusalem Church met in houses AND in the Temple.
In fact, it was not until Peter’s dream in Acts 10 about Cornelius was the idea of spreading the Gospel to non-Jews a possibility. However, even then Cornelius was a God-fearer which meant that while he was a Gentile he was a follower of Judaism.
And it was not until Acts 15 and the Jerusalem Council do we find acceptance of Paul’s Gentile converts. However, even then there was a great debate over what was expected and required of these Gentile believers in Jesus. Basically the question was — did they also need to become Jewish in order to be saved. Finally, the offerings of the churches of Corinth, Macedonia, Galatia, etc., were sent to Jerusalem during the famine found in the latter chapters of Acts because the churches of Asia Minor realized that the focal point of Jesus begins and ends in Jesus the JEWISH messiah.
So my ultimate question is this — why do some insist on separating Israel/the Jewish people from the church of Jesus? When the church of Jesus is Jewish in its beginning, design, structure, etc.? Do you have any thoughts?
Salvation Prayers
My personal pastor, Tim Gibson of Heritage Baptist in Waxahachie, preached Sunday about how to evangelize (i.e., share the Gospel) with lost people. I appreciated his sermon very much; however, the section of the sermon that “got me going the most” was when Pastor Tim urged all Christians to avoid the dreaded “repeat after me” salvation prayers. A large and hearty AMEN came from my pew!!!
I personally believe that this “repeat after me” prayer is going to be responsible for sending as many people to hell as all the ploys and schemes of Satan himself. The gift of salvation is easy for the receive but impossibly difficult for the giver. However, the prayer of salvation should not be some static, rote pattern of words that often are only empty words.
Do I believe that all those who have said such a prayer are lost? No! However, I do believe that the salvation prayer must come from the heart, soul, and lips of those praying it. Let me give you a quick example….
When I was working at a small Baptist college in East Texas, a student came to me “wanting Jesus”. After an hour and a half of talking about salvation, I sent him home without saying a prayer. He was shocked but I explained to him that I wanted him to have heaven and eternity with God and not some false fire insurance that would get the other Christians on campus off his back. A few days later he came back, told me I was right about his original intent, and asked if we could talk again? We did for another couple of hours and this time he was truly ready for salvation. He was again surprised; however, when I would not tell him what to pray but told him that it needed to be his heart and his sins he confronted with Jesus. He prayed a prayer that was neither fancy, glamorous, nor worthy of oratorical prose; but, Billy truly became a believer in Jesus that day.
Let’s devote ourselves as Christians and believers in Jesus to taking all parts of the salvation message (from the seed planting to the prayer saying) seriously. And let’s always remember that Romans 1:16 (“to the Jew first”) is not an option but a requirement! Shalom.
Genesis 12:3 and the United States
Today in Israel, and for the first time since the days of Henry Kissinger and Richard Nixon in the 1970s, Israeli Jewish citizens protested against the United States and the Mideast policy of the Obama administration which seeks to put a ban on all future Israeli settlements in the “disputed territory” of the West Bank(http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/132597).
This blog has no intention of taking a political stand on the subject; however, this post does take a religious position based on the Scriptures of Genesis 12,15, 17, and so on, which promises ALL of the Holy Land to the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Since 1948 when Israel was reborn, this tiny nation of the Middle East has been surrounded by nations and people who seek their total annihilation. This blog and the ministry of Tzedakah Ministries will always support the right of Israel to exist in the land that was promised to them by God; however, this blog and this ministry will never be guilty of Christian Zionism at the expense of Jewish evangelism.
It is not an either/or scenario, but many Christian Zionists (ardent Christian supports of Israel who often align themselves as conservative/evangelical Christians … and are often Premillennial Dispensational) by their nature choose to practice an either/or situation in regards to Jewish people and their need for salvation (see http://www.tabletmag.com/news-and-politics/1345/love-thy-neighbor/).
So let’s explain this simply — the land belongs to the nation of Israel AND they need Jesus as their Messiah. We as evangelical, conservative Christians cannot truly support Israel without supporting their need to receive the Gospel just as Gentiles need to receive Jesus. And while there are some, such as John Hagee and the Christians United for Israel, who seek to walk the balance beam, ultimately they will be in disobedience to God’s salvation plan for Israel and the whole world (Romans 1:16).
Our job is to be the best friends that the nation of Israel has. Best friends tell their friends about the salvation truth of Jesus the Messiah!
One Way … or No Way?
Tzedakah Ministries receives lots of comments about the work of Jewish evangelism. Some are positive. Some are negative. Some are threatening. Some are just plain confusing!
Many Christians will agree that Jewish people need Jesus but either don’t wish to take on the task of Jewish evangelism or think that they are just another people group in a long line of people groups. Apparently, they don’t read Romans 1:16 and “to the Jew first” very often!
Some Christians will respond with a dual covenantalistic answer — the world needs Jesus but all the Jewish people need is Moses and the Torah. Obviously, these folks don’t read John 14:6 and Acts 4:12 very often!
It is a struggle to do the work of Jewish evangelism. It is often times defeating and depressing. One looks in the mirror and wonders, “Am I doing in good for the Lord’s missionary call on my life?” However, it is a work that must continue because the reality often is if I don’t … who will.
For there is either ONE WAY to Jesus or there is no way to Jesus at all for any of us. Acts 4:12, John 14:6; Matthew 28:18-20; Acts 1:8 and especially ROMANS 1:16 are still in God’s Word and they must be followed.
Failuure to live out this preeminent truth means that for most of the world there will be a point of …
Survey Says…?
Tzedakah Ministries is conducting a survey regarding the question of Jewish evangelism. If you have not yet taken the survey, please do so. It will provide some interesting information that will be shared with you at a later date. Shalom! Todah!
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=H_2b3jJERDteqkjbwhuZkYTw_3d_3d
Prayers over Bamba?
In Jerusalem there is a big battle brewing over what prayer to pray over a peanut flavored corn snack named Bamba. Seriously! Check out the articles from Jerusalem Post and from My Jewish Learning for more information.
The basic argument is over what is the proper prayer to intone before it is fed to a baby in Israel. Seriously! Yitzhak Yosef advocates the “Borei pri ha’adama” (“Blessed are You, the Creator of the fruits of the earth”). David Yosef supports the Shekahol Blessing (“Blessed are You Who brings everything into being by His word”). Seriously!
Hopefully you have noticed by now that the commonality of the last names … they are brothers! Hopefully you have also asked yourself — “What is the big deal?” Seriously!
For this controversy truly is not about prayers to God but on a secondary level (1) about a family feud over power and control and (2) adhering to the Talmud rather than the Word of God.
The family feud centers on who will replace their father as the Sephardic Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem … power and influence. The Talmud issue is about focusing on the commentaries of man rather than God’s words.
However, and ultimately, this controversy is about putting the focus on the wrong thing (Talmud) and the wrong person (Chief Rabbinate). The only person who can resolve this feud is Jesus who is our High Priest and who’s words are greater than any Talmudic position.
So let me suggest an alternate prayer that might hopefully resolve the controversy — “Dear Jesus, Thank you for this food, Amen.”
Thoughts about Dietrich Bonhoeffer … While Flying to Louisville, Kentucky
Courtesy of Wikipedia (Creative Commons License)
On the flight this morning from DFW to Louisville, KY, for the meeting of the Southern Baptist Messianic Fellowship this weekend, I continued the monumental effort to read The Bonhoeffer Legacy. It is a struggle because the writer does not understand the theological mindset of Bonhoeffer and is frustrated because he does not fit the dual covenantal post-Holocaust theology of mainline Protestant theologians. I become frustrated because the author just doesn’t get it … not only Bonhoeffer but also the continued call of Jewish evangelism that is even more pressing and urgent in a post-Holocaust world that is growing even more anti-Semitic by the day!
Anyway while reading the book, I stumbled across a quote by Bonhoeffer that was a part of the draft of the Bethel Confession (1933). I want to share it with you as well.
A mission to the Jews which for cultural or political considerations refuses to baptize any more Jews at all is refusing to be obedient to its Lord….
Wow! I always knew I liked Dietrich Bonhoeffer (even while disagreeing with some of his more liberal tenets) but now I know of another reason. Bonhoeffer was interested in Jewish evangelism! And if you doubt it, consider what ended up in the actual Bethel Confession:
The confession affirms that God remains faithful to his old people even after the crucifixion of Christ. He preserves a “holy remnant” of Israel according to the flesh, “which will neither disappear in another nation by means of emancipation or assimilation nor become a nation like any other by Zionist or similar efforts, nor be exterminated by pharaonic measures” (115f.).
The confession affirms that the church is charged to call the Jews to repentance and to baptize the believers in the name of Christ for the forgiveness of sins. The refusal to evangelize the Jews “for cultural or political reasons” is disobedience.
Bonhoeffer of 1933 would certainly disagree with the John Hagee’s and the Rabbi Eckstein’s of 2009! So let’s remember not only the call to Bonhoeffer’s definition of “costly grace” but also his call to “Jewish Evangelism”.
Shalom. God bless.
Reflecting on Fort Scott, Kansas, from a Jewish Missions Perspective
Tomorrow (June 14) Tzedakah Ministries will have the honor and privilege of sharing the work of Jewish missions/evangelism with the amazing people of Heritage Baptist in Nevada, Missouri. While traveling to Nevada, and because of my explorer tendencies, I uncovered interesting historical sites and/or quirky places to visit on my travels across America. Today I hit the proverbial jackpot of Fort Scott, Kansas, about 20 miles from Nevada, Missuri.
I visited the American fortress (Fort Scott) which played a role in much of our history of the 19th century — from the Trail of Tears to the American Civil War. I walked around the fort and marveled at the impact on history an isolated place can have on a country. But more on that thought later….
My original intent of traveling to Fort Scott was to visit the Milken Center — a place established after the four high school girls of Uniontown (20 miles west) discovered and revealed to the world the story of Irena Sendler, a Polish social worker who rescued about 2,500 Warsaw ghetto Jewish children during the war. Unfortunately, the center was closed but there was an antique store next door.
Inside of the antique store I discovered German World War II memorabilia including a belt buckle (and belt) with the inscription “Gott Mitt Uns” on it. This phrase while seemingly innocuous means “God with Us” as a statement of belief that God was on the side of the Nazis in the war. WHAT GARBAGE! However, it is this garbage that provides one of the obstacles to Jewish evangelism for many of God’s Chosen Ones.
Satan used Hitler and the Third Reich created a barrier to the truth of Messiah Jesus. This belt buckle perhaps was on the waist of a concentration camp guard as he persecuted and murdered untold numbers of European Jewry. God was not with this soldier but it is the message of this belt buckle that stays in the minds of many survivors. We must stand up and declare the buckle to be the lie from hell that it was and it is. And we must do it today … especially in light of the new Hitler types rising up around the world.
After the fort adventure and the antique store discovery, I then went in search of something that few people would expect me to find in Fort Scott, Kansas — a Jewish cemetery.
I found the cemetery outside of the town and walked through this most beautiful of cemeteries with a sense of reverence and tremendous grief. I saw gravestones dating back to the 1870s. I saw the legacy of people who were born in Eastern Europe and died in the heartland of Middle America. I saw those who died young and those who lived to be old … surrounded by generations of family who followed them in death. And I cried.
I cried for those wonderful people who came to America hoping to find a life of safety and peace. I cried for those people who survived wars and pogroms and hatred only to die and be buried in an isolated land. However, and ultimately, I wept for their souls. I mourned as I realized that these souls probably never heard the message that Messiah Jesus was, is, and always has been for them … and for them FIRST (Rom. 1:16). They came to a land of freedom but never discovered the true freedom of a relationship with Messiah Jesus. They traveled to a new world only never to hear the message of the Kingdom of God made possible by the sacrifice of Jesus of Nazareth. They lived and died … quite probably never knowing or receiving the salvation message of the Suffering Servant and Prince of Peace — Jesus the Messiah.
So tomorrow I will seek to share my testimony of how a small town girl named Amy ended up with a God-given task of sharing Jesus with his brothers and sisters. I will also seek to share how a town or church is never too small to take up the mantle of Jewish missions. For if Fort Scott, Kansas, can be a watchman on the wall for the Western frontier of the United States in the 1800s, then Heritage Baptist of Nevada, Missouri, can be a spiritual watchman declaring that Jesus is the Jewish Messiah for all who will hear … and even for those who don’t wish to hear this message. Shalom.
